Snowman Sauna
by Uudam
Summary: Olaf starts his own business by opening a sauna. With Anna and Kristoff as his first customers for their wedding night, what could go wrong? (A lot, as it turns out.) Mild sexual content.


**Snowman Sauna**

As a lover of heat and all things hot, Olaf dreamed of running a sauna during the winter. What better way to enjoy the warmth after the summer heat left?

With the return of summer thanks to Elsa's acquired control of her powers, Olaf got started right away. He wanted a nice quality sauna right in Arendelle, where people didn't have to travel far up to Wandering Oaken's Trading Post. He called his new establishment "Snowman Sauna." Queen Elsa, with her love for geometry, helped him with the building design. The foundation was shaped like a snowflake, with each "snowflake end" being a separate room. It was quaint yet nice enough so commonfolk and royals alike could relax. With construction well under way, Olaf couldn't wait for the grand opening.

"How's the sauna coming along?" Anna asked him one day.

"Doing great," Olaf replied brightly. "I'm sure it'll be a success. How many places do you know that's run by a talking, singing snowman? Business will be booming! When you're not busy, feel free to try it out." He winked. "You know, after your wedding."

Anna and Kristoff's wedding was set to happen on the first month of winter. It was autumn now; Arendelle buzzed with excitement as preparations were being made. Olaf was getting ready too.

A few weeks later, Kristoff paid the snowman a visit. "Hey Olaf, I need to talk to you."

"What is it, Sven? I mean Kristoff."

"I think it would be a great idea if Anna and I would have the honor of being among your first customers. We could have our own sauna room for the wedding night."

Olaf looked like he could melt. "Oh, that sounds so romantic! Sure thing, Sven."

Kristoff put a finger to his lips. "This is our little secret. I want to surprise Anna, so don't tell her."

The snowman now felt more excited than ever for the opening of Snowman Sauna.

* * *

Winter rolled in after autumn, bringing both the cold and grest tidings to Arendelle. The whole kingdom joyously celebrated the union of a princess and her consort. Olaf left the wedding reception early. He had to prepare his newly opened sauna for the special night. The whole ceremony made him feel like melting into a puddle. Anna and Kristoff looked so sweet together, and Queen Elsa looked so happy for her sister.

"I'm going to make it a night to remember," Olaf said with determination.

He sang and skipped a little dance as he busied himself over the sauna's lobby. Plenty of people came in to enjoy his service. But as promised, Olaf kept one room reserved just for Arendelle's newlyweds.

Kristoff came in and approached the counter. "Brrr. Chilly night, huh?"

Olaf rummaged behind the counter and produced a key and a folded towel. "Don't you worry. One super warm sauna coming up!"

Kristoff found his reserved room and threw his towel inside. He couldn't wait to surprise his bride by consummating their marriage, right here in Olaf's new sauna. He looked forward to a nice, steamy night. It turned out that he had no choice but to wait. After several minutes dragged on, he slumped against the wall and frowned.

'Anna and Elsa should be here by now.'

Kristoff couldn't keep his heavy eyelids open any longer. The heat and thick mist lulled him to sleep.

* * *

Olaf brightened as he saw Elsa and Anna enter his sauna. "The queen and princess bride of Arendelle! So good to see you two! You like it in here?"

"It's great," Elsa replied. "I see you've added touches of both summer and winter decorations."

"The best of both worlds." As with Kristoff, Olaf handed the sisters their keys and towels. "For the queen, a little room all to herself. And for the bride...well, you'll see soon enough. Relax and have a great time!"

Anna beamed. "Thanks, Olaf. You're the best."

After stripping their formal dresses to cloth themselves with towels in the changing room, Anna and Elsa went their separate ways.

Elsa found her room and turned in the key to open the door. She carefully stepped into the sauna. She didn't expect it to be thick with mist so quickly. Closing her eyes, she let out a sigh of content. Though her powers rendered her immune to ill effects of the cold, the sauna heat felt good on her pale skin. Elsa took careful steps. She squinted her eyes; she could barely see anything as the mist enveloped and seemed to hug her.

Then something else hugged her body. Something that moved and felt rugged and warm.

Elsa flinched. 'Someone's in my room!'

She yelped in terror as she was pulled in by a pair of muscular arms. Her back pressed firmly against someone's chest. A man's. She struggled and tried to break free. In this thick mist, she had no idea who held her so tightly to him.

"You finally came."

Elsa turned beet red as he planted a kiss on her neck. She shivered as he trailed quick rough kisses up to her jawline.

'I must control my fear. Don't freak out. Don't get scared. I am a queen, not a silly girl. Even in a situation like this I need to be calm and courteous."

"I-I'm sorry, sir," Elsa stammered. "This must be some s-sort of mistake-"

His chuckle cut her off. "Oh no, I'm pretty sure I'm in the right room. I've been waiting for a while."

Elsa cried out in mixed confusion and alarm as he pulled her further into his lap. The crook of his arms pressed against her hips while his hands stroked her thighs in a slow, sensual manner. They moved up to brush away her towel-

She _screamed_. Never in 21 years of her life had she screamed so loud at the top of her lungs. Forget being a queen. Elsa thrashed and kicked, feeling the control of her fear drastically slip.

A sharp blow to the ribs made him grunt in pain. "Whoa, Anna! Calm down-"

"_Let go of me_!"

Ice instantly overwhelmed and froze the whole room. Frost coated the walls. The mist turned into a network of thin, tangled ice. Free from his grip, Elsa made to bolt from the room. But something made her stop. 'I thought I heard him say Anna...' Then she gasped. 'If he thought I was Anna, then this man must be-'

The mist cleared. Her worst fear came true. There he was, completely naked, shivering and trapped in a net of vapor-turned-ice.

Elsa gawked. "Kristoff!?"

"Elsa!?" His mouth gaped open.

She flushed red as one hand flew up to her face and the other clutched her towel.

Kristoff quickly looked away, unable to move nor stop his teeth from chattering. Some of the ice conveniently covered his private parts. But that made the whole thing no less terrifying and embarrassing for them both.

Frantic footsteps sounded and Anna skidded into view, wearing a towel like her sister. "Elsa, are you okay?" she panted. "I heard you screaming for help-"

Then she saw them. The bizarre sight robbed her of words. Anna blinked, her eyes darting from her half naked sister to her completely naked, ice-covered husband. "Oookay...what's going on?"

For once, Elsa completely lost her composure and felt like a bumbling fool. She balled the hem of her towel tight in her fists, feeling more exposed than Kristoff. "I...he...A-Anna, I can explain. This...this is _not_ what you think it is."

"M-m-m-mistake," Kristoff managed to say. "R-really big m-m-mistake."

Elsa kept a hand over her red face, feeling hotter than all the sauna rooms put together. "Are you all right, Kristoff? Are you hurt? I'm so sorry!"

"N-n-no, just c-cold and n-n-nude."

Relief swept over her, only to be quickly replaced by the overwhelming need to run out of the sauna and never come back.

Elsa began to stumble out of the iced room. "I-I'm going to defrost you when I get out..." She tried to explain, but couldn't find the words.

Kristoff understood. She had seen and been through enough. The poor queen would be traumatized the moment she melted the ice and saw _all_ of him. "Th-thanks Elsa," he replied.

Her head jerked in a nod. She turned away and ran past Anna. But not before snatching the key out of her hand.

"Elsa, wait!"

She ignored her younger sister. Glancing at the number, she stopped at an unused room and opened it. She knew it. Somehow, most likely by accident, Olaf had switched her and Anna's keys. Elsa rushed in and huddled at a corner, near a pile of heated stones. She put her mind into defrosting Kristoff's room. She heard the hiss of ice turning back into mist.

* * *

Kristoff exhaled in relief as the ice thawed.

"Elsa, come back!" Anna called. She stepped in to join her husband in the room. "Kristoff, what happened?"

He sat back and groaned. "It was supposed to be a surprise. I asked Olaf to reserve a room just for the two of us. I sat here and waited. I fell asleep...the heat got to me. And when the door opened, I mistook Elsa for you."

Kristoff really didn't want to elaborate. Guilt gnawed on him. "I swear, we didn't...you know, _do_ it. The worst I did was almost pulling up her towel."

She surprised him with her response: "I believe you. And I'm sure Elsa didn't return the touchy-feely gestures." Anna managed a grin. "I would know. I heard her scream all the way from the other side." Then she frowned. "Elsa must feel terrible. Let's go talk to her."

* * *

Elsa tried to relax, but now the heat felt stifling. She couldn't stop thinking of how she utterly embarrassed herself in front of Anna and Kristoff. She ditched her towel, left the sauna room and dressed in her snow queen gown. She went outside, feeling liberated in the cool winter air.

"Elsa, what are you doing out here? I know you don't mind the cold, but-" Olaf noticed the look on Elsa's face and his toothy smile faltered. "Is there something wrong? You didn't like the sauna?"

"No, it's not that." How was she going to explain this to a talking snowman? "You switched our room keys by accident. Mine and Anna's."

It took Olaf several seconds to understand. His delayed reaction came in the form of making a big O with his mouth. "Ooooh..." He hung his head in shame. "I'm sorry, Elsa."

The young queen couldn't find it in her heart to get angry at Olaf. She sighed. "It's all right. It was a misunderstanding, that's all. I'm upset because of me. I ruined their wedding night! This was supposed to be a very special time for just the two of them." Elsa buried her face into her hands. "Anna and Kristoff will never forgive me."

The snowman patted her shoulder. "Aw, don't say that."

It was little reassurance to her, since Olaf was never there during the incident. She heard Anna and Kristoff joining her outside, but Elsa wouldn't look up to meet their eyes.

She bit her lip and tears welled in her eyes. 'This is it. Anna's furious with me.' Ice began to spread underneath her. "Anna, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to come between you and Kristoff. The mist was so thick...he grabbed me and I got scared. The ice...I could've really hurt him."

"Elsa, it's okay," Anna said softly. "We know it was just a mistake. Kristoff saw you unleash the ice, and I saw it melt." Anna took her sister's hand. "We know you now have a better handle of your powers. Even at that moment, when you were so afraid, you didn't hurt Kristoff. Thank you so much."

'Anna has such a big heart,' Elsa thought fondly. 'She could've easily accused me of making a move on her husband, or the other way around. But she's so trusting, so willing to forgive...That's why I love my sister so much.'

Elsa squeezed her hand back. "Thank _you_, Anna."

Kristoff looked very remorseful and rubbed a hand behind his head. "Elsa, I'm the one who should be sorry. What I did was completely uncalled for. It was so stupid of me to think you were Anna. I should've known better."

Elsa smiled up at him. "It's okay. I was more upset with myself than you."

Olaf sagged and looked very glum. "It's really my fault, everyone. I ruined tonight for all of you."

Seeing the normally cheerful snowman look so sad moved the three of them. Anna knelt down and gave him a warm hug. "It's fine, Olaf. You didn't mean to mix up our keys. I forgive you...we all do."

Kristoff also knelt down and Elsa leaned forward to join Anna in hugging the snowman. Olaf cracked a smile. "Sooo...are we all good now?"

"More or less," Elsa laughed. "I'll go back inside to soak in the heat. Snowman Sauna really is wonderful, Olaf. Thanks for inviting us." She winked at him. "One day I will bring my future husband and king on our own wedding night."

Olaf smiled. "I won't mess up next time, then. You have my word!"

Anna held Kristoff's hand. "We'll go inside too. The night is young." She blushed. "We can still spend time together."

"I bet in a couple of years we'll look back and have a good laugh."

Anna nudged her husband. "Let's just not tell this to our future kids."

"Definitely not," Elsa and Kristoff quickly replied in agreement.

"Well, it looks like I'll never know, either," Olaf chortled.

* * *

_This is what happens when I write and publish a fic at 3 in the morning lol. Sorry, I don't do smut...but I hope you still enjoyed this. I certainly had fun writing it! Would you like me to do more oneshots?_


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